O.K. so I was doing well… I quit, I struggled for the first week, and then I got cocky and fucked it all up. YEAP ladies and gentlemen FUCKED IT UP, but not all in vain..ok so I told you about 22November Right i.e the post below yeah… well that was good it was fucking great, i actually really loved getting high it was “LIKE A VIRGIN, touched for the very first time…. LIKE A VIRRRGIN” and all that again, absofuckinglutely sooo where did it, or I go wrong.. well?
Is it possible to go back to be a casual smoker once you’ve been an addict?
Allow to me answer the question, I don’t fucking know?? lol okay more seriously, sure i tripped up after this, and when I say tripped up I mean head into a pile of DUNG!! I apologise if I sound annoyed for this slip up, but i really was onto something!! i can’t deny smoking weed does do something for me, it creates a different me, which if you minus the paranoia, is amazing!! however it’s just fucking annoying how after a proper session, you’ll want to smoke again the next day… HOLD ON.. that sounds a lot like an addiction? WELL ladies and gentlemen, it is… you’d be right there. I gotta say, I don’t hate Cannabis, I hate myself!! Cos that’s it really, i got cocky!! after not smoking weed for so long, and actually no longer craving for it, not only did I forget what it felt like to be stoned, but I also forgot what it felt like having cravings the next day, and I gave in to easily to that fucking annoying cat!!!
ARGHHH!! I just forgot, got cocky, just thought I was stronger than it, I WAS WRONG!!! As soon as that cat gets one over you, YOU’RE FUCKED!!! cos the minute you start breaking, that cat knows he’s fucking got you!! it’s like the fucking DEVIL!!! Sure life hands you bad cards sometimes and you’re having a bad week/month blah blah whatever, however that isn’t an excuse to drop your guard… and with my guard went some many other things????
SO WHAT HAPPENED?
Well after that initial session, I didn’t smoke for a week… didn’t think much of it… & then the following week, I had a session with an old friend we caught up it was great also, was well overdue he and I.. however.. the next day is when it began. After a busy schedule, and hard in of work, we both decided we should treat ourself to some more weed, thus we proceeded and got some and “TREATED” ourselves. I’d caved, fallen over on a downhill slope, i didn’t realise how steep the hill was, but by the time I’d hit the bottom of the hill it was gonna hurt bad!! and indeed it did… OUCH! Oh yeah, i smoked again, and then again… & on realising I’d relapsed, i thought FUCK IT, lets smoke.. and que the good times.. JOKE!! far from it..
IT’S IN YOUR BLOOD!
Even in failure there is so much to learn from!!! This week of sin of getting blasted of my balls, just throwing away money killing my health..i realised that WEED WANTS MORE WEED!!! i.e. when you’re high, you still wanna be high?? why I dunno, it just feels nice i guess.. whatever.. so you go to sleep WANKERED!!! and wake up still stoned…. remember the weed bonds to the cells in your blood, and doesn’t clear up to 30-40 days (i.e. that’s how strong, and now long that shit lasts) the likelihood is you’re still gonna be high the next day!! That’s what happens… You wake up and you’re still stoned, but you just don’t really realise it.. a weed hangover is very different from a drinking one!! During the weedhangover the mistake, the big mistake is to listen to the annoying cat, give in and SMOKE THAT SHIIIIITTT again… cos once you do… you’re trapped again.. it’s almost like your words, discipline means nothing!
IN THOSE 5o DAYS
Those were the best days of my life… ok bit over the top… they were good.. i’ll summarise:
- I woke everyday bright eyed and bushy tailed
- I got SOO MUCH MORE work done
- I felt healthier, with more energy
- My lungs were double CAPACITY!
- My family & girlfriend really approved of me.
- I set a great example of a better life for those who were trapped just like me
- I was motivated more
- READ THE BEGINNING OF THE BLOG!