THEY WERE ALL SO HAPPY – WHAT HAPPENED?
So many ask me “Where have you been, I’ve been reading your BLOG!! Guess you didn’t quit then ay?” shortly followed by “D’ya wanna pick up?” Other reasons for my disappearance is well I just haven’t found time to blog about this like I did last year. I’ll square up with you however, I have been smoking weed in-between this massive gap of non blogging, and well I wouldn’t be lying if i said it feels like i’m starting from the beginning because it really does. On my current form I need to buy HOWiDidn’Tquit.Com and start writing there. Yeap 2012 certainly did bring change as unlike the final months of 2011 I started up smoking again! Ground HOG FUCKING DAY here we go!
TAKING ADVISE FROM THE WRONG PEOPLE
I warn you most things i’ll say in this blog will be pretty fucking obvious right up until the moment I explain it to you. However not before then as the wood won’t be distinguishable from the trees, but try telling that to the I TOLD YOU SO crew. meaning? I’ll get to that later. Anyway…. Taking advise from the wrong people! So I talked about how I wanted to be able to smoke now and again, and people listened gave me their opinions! & for that I appreciate it much, however it never occurred to me at the time that only weed smokers would be reading this blog and only they would have an opinion based on experience. i.e. I never actually once spoke to a sober guy and exchanged views from somebody from the “OTHER SIDE”. Resulting in, 99% shift towards the opinion that “yeah yeah, you should be able to be a normal weed smoker, once you’ve been a JUNKIE/ADDICT” Everybody was saying it, and the more I was hearing it, I was LOVING IT!! YEAHHH!!! YEAHHH!!! YEAHHH!!! – TITTTIES!!! Sorry I had to break that yeah cycle!! This all seems like bullshit right now.
SUMMARY OF ALL SUMMARIES
Lemme recap for you all…. I quit smoking weed, started a blog, wrote about this shit… didn’t smoke for about 50 days till I got this DUmBa$$ idea that I should try a bit of weed and slowly program myself to be an occasionally smoker!! Now that ladies and gentlemen is pretty dumb!! I spent the morning reading this blog and i’ve relived this whole epic journey, and I feel however stupid breaking the quitting chain was, I gotta say it was people around me who’d built their hopes and dreams on me “QUITTING FOREVER!!” that shared a lot of the responsibility of me going back. “Oh yeah yeah bLAME everybody else but yourself” <— absolutely not.I quit the smoking weed for myself as I MYSELF realised that I was smoking the shit too much! I did this whole process myself, however due to the public nature of the blog, people joined on and long before I knew it, I was doing it for other people. I really don’t want to blame anybody else for my misfailings so i’ll say that even that was a learning curve and reading back has just been great!
AND PEOPLE AROUND ME ?
For a short while I stood for something and I felt it. Things I talked about were directly at the heart of how I felt about weed related stories. Post blog people in my life had their comments, mostly positive however a few individuals thought I was writing about them and in doing so I actually exposed some TOPLOADERS which was quite hilarious! Alas it didn’t matter because as I rejoined the smoking world back came all my friends, back came all those good times that I was excluded from when I went tee total. Sarcasm removed for a second, I must hand on heart admit. Weed takes more than it gives back and I know this before I say what I say… but getting high isn’t a bad thing! It really isn’t for the benefits if harnessed properly are powerful!! I called myself stupid before and damn right I am for opening my smoking account again, regardless though I cannot deny that while being high I came up with lots of alternative solutions to problems I didn’t have the foggiest about resolving. In the end that’s the ONLY really true positive I can get from the smoking weed, otherwise I feel smoking weed regularly takes more from your life than it gives back!
THE COMEDOWN OF WEED
Many you’ll speak to will say that there isn’t a comedown at all, many of these people being heroin addicts or Class A taking smack heads! FALSEHOOD: The comedown can often be very harsh being a very deeply physiological and extremely deceiving!! It’s not physical whatsoever and almost disguises itself into your normal daily emotions to a point where you can’t tell whether you’re actually down or the drug is inducing this feeling and thus the lines become blurry. Take a guess on how you can make it go away? YEAP!! SMOKE MOOO OF DAT SHHIIITTT!!! So that brings us to where I am now… Somehow I really gotta see out the next 14 days, where I MUST NOT SMOKE!! IF I CAN DO THAT, then I pretty much outta the woods… FAILED MISERABLY SO FAR, LETS SEE If things get better.